150 Best Scotland Quotes and Scotland Instagram Captions to Inspire Your Trip 2024
Known for incredible landscapes, the Lochness monster, and Whiskey the vibrant country of Scotland is one of the most beautiful places in the world!
So if you’re looking to learn more then you’re in the right place. Below I’ve curated a bumper list of Scotland quotes that are guaranteed to have you booking your next trip!
Not only can you use these quotes about Scotland to inspire your vacation, but they are also perfect for those looking for Scotland Captions for Instagram!
Funny Quotes about Scotland
‘Don’t mess with Scottish people. They are temperamental. Half temper, half mental.’
Scotland had oil, but it’s running out due to all that deep frying.
‘Wait, Scotland Yard isn’t in Scotland? Next, you’ll tell me the Loch Ness Monster isn’t real!’
‘Kilt, n. – a costume was sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland.’ – Ambrose Bierce
‘We Slovenians are even better misers than you Scottish. Do you know how Scotland began? One of us Slovenians was spending too much money, so we put him on a boat and he landed in Scotland.’ ― Slavoj Žižek
Scotland Sayings about Food
Scotland is a picturesque country where the people are friendly yet completely incomprehensible. Also, the national delicacy is a sheep’s stomach filled with its liver, lungs, and heart. –Adam Schlesinger
It is true that I once refused to eat haggis in Scotland and this did not sit well with the local population. –Rick Riordan
There’s a lot of fantasy about what Scotland is, and the shortbread tins and that sort of thing. –Sean Connery
If you’re trout fishing in the lochs of Scotland, your catch may end up like this: batter-crusted with that ubiquitous Scottish staple, oats; and served beside a generous mound of stovies, Scottish slang for stove-roasted potatoes. –Jonathan Miles
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Scottish Puns
Yes, I love whiskey. Who’s caskin?
Scotch is neat.
Ardbeg your pardon?
The Scottish Highlands are not to be mist!
Highland cattle snuggle up in the rain to keep each udder dry.
Winter in Scotland is snow joke!
Even the rain can’t dampen Scotland’s beauty.
Instagram Captions for Scotland Weather
Scotland is about layering. The weather changes every 10 minutes. –Sam Heughan
“There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.” – Billy Connolly
Scotland’s a pretty place. I mean, as long as it ain’t raining. –Boo Weekley
In Scotland, as beautiful as it is, it was always raining. Even when it wasn’t raining, it was about to rain or had just rained. It’s a very angry sky. –Colin Hay
There is no sunlight in the poetry of exile. There is only mist, wind, rain, the cry of the curlew and the slow clouds above damp moorland. That is the real Scotland; that is the Scotland whose memory rings the withers of the far-from-home; and, in some way that is mysterious, that is the Scotland that even a stranger learns to love. –H. V. Morton
‘There’s just no place like Scotland when the sun is out. I just love coming home.’ – Ashley Jensen
If you don’t like Scottish weather, just wait 30 minutes as it’s likely to change.
Scottish Sayings about Whiskey
A glass of whiskey in Scotland in the thirties cost less than a cup of tea. –Catherine Helen Spence
‘Put some whiskey in my coffee because it’s Scotland somewhere!’
‘Where’s the whiskey?!’
‘Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.’ – W. C. Fields
‘My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.’ – Igor Stravinsky
It is one of the most hauntingly beautiful places in the world, the history is fascinating, the men are handsome and the whiskey is delicious. But don’t eat the macaroni pies. –J.K. Rowling
‘Hey, single malt Scotch, you’re thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?’ – Stephen Colbert
Food Quotes on Scotland
‘Everyone knows how creative the Scots are. They’re always sculpting, painting, singing songs, & writing plays. They invented television, the telephone, & deep-fried Mars bars.’ ― David Baillie
‘My theory is that all Scottish food is based on a dare.’
‘The best food in the world comes from Scotland, in part at least, because Scotland is the last wilderness area in Europe; therefore the land, freshwater rivers, and lochs and sea waters around the country are clean and pure.’ – Lady Claire MacDonald
‘Oats. A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.’ ― Samuel Johnson
Scotland Puns
Thistle nicely.
I don’t want to leave, but it’s time to Glasgow.
Kilt: It’s what happened to the last person who called it a skirt
Don’t think Scottish sheep are the cutest? Ewe gotta be kidding me!
Kiltn’ it
I need to mull over my decision on which Scotch to pick.
Some like it, Scot!
Puns about Scotland
I want to loch you, but you’re so Nessy.
Time to par-tee at St. Andrews.
The poetry of Scotland is Burns-ed into my brain.
Don’t let him get away Scot free.
If you don’t love Scotland, you should be tartan fettered.
Leaving on a jet-Thane.
Funny Scottish Quotes about Whiskey
‘Scottish people drink spasmodically and intensely, for the sake of a momentary but complete release, whereas the English like to bathe and paddle about bucolically in a mild puddle of beer.’ – Edwin Muir
The proper drinking of Scotch whiskey is more than indulgence, it is a toast to a civilization, a tribute to the continuity of culture, a manifesto of man’s determination to use the resources of nature to refresh mind and body and enjoy to the full senses with which he has been endowed. –David Daiches
‘Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples.’ – Warren Ellis
“I was brought up to believe that Scotch whisky would need a tax preference to survive in competition with Kentucky bourbon.” – Hugo Black
‘Well, between Scotch and nothin’, I suppose I’d take Scotch. It’s the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.’ – William Faulkner
Best Scottish Pun
Love Scotland? Kilt-y as charged!
In-Thane in the membrane.
Like it? I Glen-love-t!
Another drink? I’ll have Ault-more.
I’m never Crabbie in Scotland.
Edin-brrrrrrrrrr
Best Quotes on Scottish Weather
‘I have taken the high road. I have taken the low road. I have been to Scotland by morning.’
The mud is cold when you’re in the north of Scotland! –Tahar Rahim
‘Looking forward to Scottish summers, the rain gets warmer.’
In Scotland, there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes.
‘It doesn’t matter if it’s soggy or it’s sunny, there are so many lovely roads and awesome rugged countryside in Scotland – that’s what makes it.’ – Edd China
‘The Scottish sun, shocked by having its usual cloudy underpinnings stripped away, shone feverishly, embarrassed by its nakedness.’ ― Stuart Haddon
‘I am attached to the west coast of Scotland – it’s gorgeous to look at and challenging. You have to contend with the possibility of being blown away or rained on. And in the summer months, you can be eaten alive by midges.’ – Clive Anderson
Best Edinburgh Quotes
Enjoying a reign-y day here at Edinburgh castle.
“Edinburgh isn’t so much a city, more a way of life… I doubt I’ll ever tire of exploring Edinburgh, on foot or in print.” – Ian Rankin
There are no stars as lovely as Edinburgh street-lamps. –Robert Louis Stevenson
Edinburgh is a city of shifting light, of changing skies, of sudden vistas. A city so beautiful it breaks the heart again and again. –Alexander McCall Smith
Glasgow Quotes Scotland
The Glasgow invention of squared-toed shoes was to enable the Glasgow man to get closer to the bar. –Jack House
‘Welcome to Glasgow – the city where we punch people who are on fire.’ – Frankie Boyle
I’m very fond of Glasgow, particularly the West End. The whole stretch of the west coast of Scotland from Loch Lomond up through Mallaig to the Kyle of Lochalsh is so beautiful. –John Niven
‘As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.’ – Frankie Boyle
‘Imaginatively Glasgow exists as a music hall song and a few bad novels.’ – Alastair Gray
Quotes about Glasgow
‘The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear blast it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.’ – Billy Connolly
‘Some people, when they have a holiday, just want to go to salt coats, twenty-five miles along the coast from Glasgow. Some people don’t even want that. They are happy to stay at home or watch the birds and the ducks float by in the park. And some want to go to the moon. It’s all about people’s ambitions.’ ― Sir Alex Ferguson
‘I’d live in Glasgow if I could. I can’t praise it enough; it’s the nicest place I have ever worked and I’ve worked in a lot of nice places.’ – Roxanne McKee
‘Growing up in Scotland and living in Glasgow, you see the heritage that religion has had and how something that, in theory, is about kindness and community and caring for each other is used to persecute people.’ – Lauren Mayberry
Scottish Highlands Quotes
‘”It feels like Scotland.” “Have you ever been?” “Mmmm. Twice. Have you?” “No.” “You should. It’s your roots. You’ll be surprised how much they tug at you when you breathe the air in the Highlands or look out at a lowland loch.’ ― Nora Roberts
‘Here, if nowhere else in the land, the sense of satiety is unknown; and it is to this mental tonic, even more than to the bracing air of the heights, that we owe the unwearied spirit which nerves us to walk more leagues upon the mountains than we could walk miles upon the plain. For in the lowlands we walk with the body only; in the highlands we walk with the mind.’ ― Henry Stephens Salt
Stirling, like a huge brooch, clasps Highlands and Lowlands together. –Alexander McCall Smith
‘My heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here; My heart’s in the Highlands a chasing the deer; A-chasing the wild-deer, and following the roe, My heart’s in the Highlands wherever I go.’ ― Robert Burns
Scottish Highlands Instagram Captions
“There are few places in my life that I’ve found more ruggedly beautiful than the Highlands of Scotland. The place is magical – it’s so far north, so remote, that sometimes it feels like you’ve left this world and gone to another.” – Julia London
‘Autumn in the Highlands would be brief—a glorious riot of color blazing red across the moors and gleaming every shade of gold in the forests of sheltered glens. Those achingly beautiful images would be painted again and again across the hills and in the shivering waters of the mountain tarns until the harsh winds of winter sent the last quaking leaf to its demise on the frozen ground.’ ― Elizabeth Stuart
“There’s no place on earth with more of the old superstitions and magic mixed into its daily life than the Scottish Highlands.” – Diana Gabaldon
Wherever I wander, wherever I rove; the hills of the highland forever I love. –Robert Burns
Scotland Instagram Captions about Golf
‘They say Scotland is the home of golf. I’m inclined to agree. It’s been nothing but on-par for me!’
‘What most people don’t understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That’s why they’re always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there’s possibly some connection between aliens and golf.’ – Alice Cooper
Golf is a working man’s sport in Scotland. –Brian Binnie
‘We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whisky. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.’ – Horace Hutchinson
Quotes about Scotland Beauty
‘I went to this beautiful place where the ground moved underneath me and the air was a part of me, and where time stopped. It was amazing and wonderful. But God sent me back, back to my body, back to you. – Lindsey Water.’ ― Cyndi Tefft
‘I remember every stone, every tree, the scent of heather. Even when the thunder growled in the distance, and the windswept up the valley in fitful gusts, oh, it was beautiful home sweet home.’ ― Beatrix Potter
“I love Scotland, mainly for its landscape. I like walking, and it’s a great place to go hiking” – Toby Stephens
‘Staring into a Scottish landscape, I have often asked myself why – in spite of all appearances – bracken, rocks, man and sea are at some level one.’ – Neal Ascherson
Scotland Quotes for Instagram
‘Scotland is so gorgeous that every time I’m there, I start to dream of living there. I want to buy one of those whitewashed cottages with thatch roofs and gaze out at the sea and read my books. I want to be away from the Internet and the news and lawnmowers at 7 A.M. on Sunday mornings.’ – Julia London
‘From its destitution of trees, Scotland was once a by-word; now it is a garden of beauty.’ – Frederick Douglass
I live out in the country in Scotland and know that if I close my eyes, I can recognize every sound. –Rory McCann
There is magic in Scotland. It’s a country with a lot of pride and bravery. –Gayle Rankin
‘There are three reasons why I live in Scotland. First, I like silence, and you have to be a millionaire to buy silence in Italy. Second, I like cold weather. Third, in Italy, I have too many relatives and know too many people, so I never get quiet time.’ – Gian Carlo Menotti
Famous Quotes about Scotland
‘One of Scotland’s most important cultural exports – stories.’ ― Sara Sheridan
‘For me, writing stories set, well, wherever they’re the best set, is a form of cultural curiosity that is uniquely Scottish – we’re famous for traveling in search of adventure.’ ― Sara Sheridan
‘Scotland consistently produces world-class writers.’ ― Sara Sheridan
‘Fantasy, myth, legend, truth – all are intertwined in the story that is Scotland.’ ― Laurence Overmire
Scottish Instagram Captions
There’s a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels. –Denise Mina
“Poetry, the reading of it, the writing of it, the saying it out loud, the learning of it off by heart, matters deeply to ordinary Scottish people everywhere.” – Liz Lochhead
“[Macbeth] is historically set in a place depicted by Shakespeare as brutal and violent, incredibly superstitious, and that’s something that I do believe is Scottish.” – James McAvoy
Inspirational Scottish Quotes
‘Scotland almost invented the modern world. I mean, all of these televisions, telephones, penicillin, we all – all of these things were invented in Scotland.’ – Nicola Sturgeon
Scotland should be nothing less than equal with all the other nations of the world. –Sean Connery
I feel a sort of reverence in going over these scenes in this most beautiful country, which I am proud to call my own, where there was such devoted loyalty to the family of my ancestors – for Stuart blood is in my veins. –Queen Victoria
‘Even in rugged Scotland, nature is scarcely wilder than a mountain sheep, certainly a good way short of the ferity of the moose and caribou.’ – John Burroughs
Wherever a Scotsman goes, here goes Burns. His grand whole, catholic soul squares with the good of all; therefore we find him in everything, everywhere. –John Muir
Scotland Captions for Instagram
‘There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.’ – James M. Barrie
‘Scotland is one of my favorite places to perform: it’s really something special. Scottish audiences are just so enthusiastic; their approach to dance music just feels similar to my own somehow.’ – Moby
‘I was only in Scotland for four months or something, but I look back at that, and it was a big learning curve for me in that short spell. I went there with an open mind to show everyone in Scotland what I was about. Looking back, I am very glad about the decision I made.’ – James Maddison
Scotland Captions Instagram
I’m William Wallace, and the rest of you will be spared. Go back to England and tell them… Scotland is free! –William Wallace
‘In a lot of farther-flung places in Scotland people are guarded at first, but as soon as they get to know you they really hate you.’ – Frankie Boyle
‘I discovered myself by traveling. Azerbaijan taught me how to love humanity. Scotland taught me how to fight for humanity.’ ― Fuad Alakbarov
‘I look upon Switzerland as an inferior sort of Scotland.’ – Sydney Smith
Scotland Instagram Quotes
We look to Scotland for all of our ideas of civilization. –Voltaire
Where is the coward that would not dare to fight for a land such as Scotland? –Sir Walter Scott
When you hear someone from the very north of Scotland speaking, I think it’s nice, very musical and harmonious. –Sean Connery
Give me Scotland or I die. –John Knox
If you put a frog in boiling water, it’ll jump straight out. If you put it in cold water and gradually bring it to the boil, it’ll sit right there until it dies. Scotland has been sitting in England’s gradually boiling water for so long that many people are used to it. –John Niven
Quotes on Scotland Beauty
‘I’m proud of the culture I come from – we’re a small country and a close-knit community.’ ― Sara Sheridan
‘People are pretty normal in Scotland, I’ve had a few crazy fan experiences elsewhere.’ – Nina Nesbitt
‘I am constantly disappointing people up in Scotland by not being Scottish!’ – Jonny Lee Miller
Scotland is my country, the nation that shaped me, that taught me my values. A nation whose achievements inspired and inspire me, a community whose failings drive me – drive my overwhelming desire to fight for social justice and equality. –Johann Lamont
Scottish Captions for Instagram
O! Desolated Scotland, too credulous of fair speeches, and not aware of the calamities which are coming upon you! If you were to judge as I do, you would not easily put your neck under a foreign yoke. –William Wallace
Everything I have done or attempted to do for Scotland has always been for her benefit, never my own and I defy anyone to prove otherwise. –Sean Connery
‘It’s still part of me, Scotland. I’m still immersed in it even though I am not there.’ – Irvine Welsh
“I’m rediscovering Scotland; I’m falling in love with it again.” –Sam Heughan
Scotland Travel Quotes
“I absolutely love Scotland. I’m always happy there.” –Jennifer Saunders
“We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilisation.” – Voltaire
“Scotland is undoubtedly the star of Outlander. I’m so proud of the country and all it has to offer.” – Sam Heughan
“Give me but one our of Scotland, let me see it ere I die.” – William Edmondstoune Aytoun
“Of all the small nations of this earth, perhaps only the ancient Greeks surpass the Scots in their contribution to mankind.” – Winston Churchill
Best Scotland Quote for Instagram
“Scotland has an in-built sound system that never stops thumping. Music runs deep and I like to think of all the great songs and voices that have come out of the country, and all the music that is yet to come.” – KT Tunstall
“Being on tour so often, in fact, enhances my appreciation and pride in being from Scotland. In such a competitive world, I believe it is my Scottish roots that have enabled me to keep a sincere and realistic approach to everything I do.” – Nicola Benedetti
“There’s nothing small about Scotland. We’re all about big, beautiful scenery and giant intellects that invented the likes of penicillin, telephone and TV. We enjoy gigantic portions of grub and throw ourselves wholeheartedly into our football and rugby clubs.” – Lorraine Kelly
Funny Scottish Instagram Captions
Location is everything, I’d rather camp in the Lake District or Scotland than sit in a five-star hotel in Frankfurt. –Rory Bremner
‘Without the shepherd’s dog, the whole of the open mountainous land in Scotland would not be worth a sixpence.’ – James Hogg
Did not strong connections draw me elsewhere, I believe Scotland would be the country I would choose to end my days in. –Benjamin Franklin
Scotland is the best place in the whole world. –Gail Porter
I love Scotland. Edinburgh is a beautiful city and has a wonderful tradition of supporting the arts. –Peter Hambleton
This is my country, the land that begat me, these windy spaces are surely my own… –Sir Alexander Gray
Funny Scottish Sayings
And though I would rather die elsewhere, yet in my heart of hearts, I long to be buried among good Scots clods. I will say it fairly, it grows on me with every year. –Robert Louis Stevenson
Scotland is the Canada of England! –Rainn Wilson
If Scotland and America go to war, I’m afraid I’ve already sworn in. –Craig Ferguson
God help England if she had no Scots to think for her. –George Bernard Shaw
‘Another lesson to file away about Scotland: insulting other people in a childish manner was the national pastime.’ ― Molly Ringle
Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative. –Frankie Boyle
‘No one in Scotland can escape from the past. It is everywhere, haunting like a ghost.’ – Geddes MacGregor
That’s the Best Scottish Proverbs
That’s the end of my bumper list, so I hope you’ve managed to find the perfect Scotland quote.
I’d love to know which one is your favourite, and if I’ve missed any awesome quotes about Scotland then please let me know in the comments below.
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